I used to make resolutions. They were mostly about weight, food, appearance, exercise and numbers. Five years into recovery from a host of eating disorders, and I don’t make resolutions anymore. I ask questions. Yes, I still question (and examine) physical habits, but I take a balanced approach including all the other areas of my life as well (spiritual, emotional, relational, intellectual and vocational).
Resolutions imply I have succeeded or (as is usually the case) failed; they deal in perfection. Questions ask, “Am I on the right track?” and define progress. Resolutions can be legalistic; questions are filled with grace. Resolutions generally cause me to give up, while questions invite me to try and beg me to stay curious. Resolutions are the unforgiving taskmaster and questions are the cheerleading squad. Resolutions look like impossible, impassable, impermeable concrete walls topped with barbed wire; questions look like intentional boundaries – picket fences with pretty gates. Resolutions are the enemy to my personal recovery; questions help me grow deeper and journey further.
Here are 5 questions I ask myself:
What do I have to celebrate from last year (last quarter, last month, last week)?
On the flip side, what do I need to grieve? (Sometimes for these first two questions, it is helpful for me to make a timeline drawing, taking a year one month at a time or a month one week at a time, for example.)
What are my priorities at this stage in life? (Do my decisions, progress, time, relationships, and money reflect these priorities?)
Moving forward, where do I see a need for tweaking or improvement?
Where do I want to be this time next year? In three years? Five? How will I get there? (Think first in bigger leaps, followed by more finely-tuned steps.)
Love this list of questions! Adding it to my annual planning for sure.
Thank you, Sara!
Well, I only have a little to celebrate, and some of it is bitter, a lot to regret, though little of my own self, which puts me in the position of uncertainty about the future as usual. I just do not have that goal-pursuing drive for ambition. I don’t even know if I should change it.
I am glad you can celebrate the little and look at the rest honestly. Thanks for sharing, Allison
These are great questions! I’m teetering between 2 words for 2020. I did a quiz on dayspring & they gave me the word bloom, but in my heart I think my word needs to be patience or something along those lines, to be less anxious & frustrated I guess you could say. I’m still asking God for the right word!
Thank you, Stefani! I love that there is a quiz out there… I am going to try to find it for myself 😉 Allison
Wonderful questions to ponder and process as the new year begins. Thanks for sharing.
Thank you, Laura!
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